Many women’s abortion experiences have gone untold. Until now. Micki bravely agreed to share her story. Read on for stories behind abortion.
22, newly divorced, and almost homeless. Micki went to a party to distract herself. Her two kids, ages 5 and 2 were with their fathers, her exs. If you just did the math you know that Micki was a teen mom at ages 16 and 19.
After a one-night stand with a Marine at the party, Micki was pregnant.
“What is my family going to think when they find out I’m pregnant again?”
She didn’t tell her parents. Instead, she told her best friend about her unplanned pregnancy. Micki’s friend asked, “How can you support a new baby if you can’t take care of your other kids?”
Micki didn’t know how she could keep the baby. She dismissed the thought of adoption. She felt she could not give up her baby once she gave birth, based on how attached she felt to her other kids immediately after birth. Micki was a nurturing mama bear. To this day her kids, now grown, turn to her when they need to talk.
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Micki decided to have an abortion and refused to think about it anymore. The one thing that worried Micki most was her fertility. Her friend had had 5 abortions, and in her 6th pregnancy, they told her another abortion would harm her fertility so she had the baby. (Drs may have been concerned about cervical insufficiency, aka cervical incompetence. “Prior pregnancy termination is also a major risk factor for cervical insufficiency.” 1)
The day came and the doctor talked about how they would dilate her cervix, insert the spoon-like instrument and scrape her uterus. Afterward, they would “examine the contents of your pregnancy.”
Nothing in the clinical description of abortion prepared her for the experience. It was awful. She was not prepared for the loud suction noise or the painful cramps. (They didn’t give her pain medication. Afterward, she took ibuprofen.) Micki knew she was supposed to lie still, but it hurt so bad she started to put her hand on her stomach.
“No, no, no,” corrected the doctor, “I don’t want to tear your uterus.”
“It’s barbaric,” Micki reflected on her abortion experience. “Physically and emotionally traumatic.” She is grateful she did not have complications from her abortion, but she tried to push it out of her mind and move on.
“It just eats away at you, especially if you don’t deal with it.”
Micki regrets having an abortion. She wishes she had gone to a pregnancy center for help.
“Abortion is a way to hide what you’ve done. It doesn’t just get rid of the problem - it causes all new problems.”
Years later, in her 30s Micki was part of a support group for those who had an abortion. They encouraged her to name her baby. Micki suspected her 7 ½ week old baby was a girl, so she named her Danielle Nichole. It was difficult but also healing to share stories behind abortion.
Now, she wishes she could talk to other women considering abortion. You could potentially regret this for the rest of your life.
Does Micki’s abortion story resonate with you? You don’t have to be single, 22, and almost homeless to tell your story or get help. Instead of living with regret, reach out for help. Pearson Place will support you regardless of the circumstances when your baby was conceived. We’ll talk to you about your specific fears and needs and provide emotional and physical support. We’ve helped countless women in difficult circumstances. Some women have relational difficulties with baby daddies, or parents. Others have financial pressures and housing insecurities. Still others feel this baby is coming at a bad time with school or work.
All of these circumstances are hard, but not hopeless. If Micki had reached out, she would have learned about the free diapers, food banks, housing solutions, and more. Pearson Place provides free confidential services and refers women to local community resources as well.
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